The Shore

The Shore

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Crying on Dec. 6th

Sometimes it is OK to cry isn't it? I am sometimes accused of crying too much, and at times when it is not appropriate. I have no control over it - I think I could squelch it only by getting armed, and I am a pacifist. I resist anger, I try to hold it back, I worry that if I let it go I might become homicidal, and so I cry.

Today I cry for the women massacred on December 6th but also for all the women experiencing violence - not just here but all over the world.


There are the women at the hands of soldiers and warlords, and mercenaries and corporatists - women being raped in Congo, (and children driven to despair mining metals, and accused of being witches, and recruited as child soldiers) driven from their homes (and raped) in Darfur, poisoned and drenched in acid for going to school, or running away from husbands 30 and 40 years their senior, in Afghanistan.




Won't embed - but another video - very recent - on women in Afghanistan can be seen at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpFP5-gsehY

So I cry.


In Canada, although the long gun registry reduced the number of women killed by their partners - the numbers are too high and the weapons remain - and now they want to (are about to) eliminate the registry. As a recent Vancouver Sun article puts it in context --

The biggest risk for Harper's Conservatives will be how women react, since women are predominantly victims of murder by long gun, a fact conveniently overlooked in mostly male anger over the registry.

Yet an Ipsos Reid poll in 2006 found three out of four Canadians want stricter, not more permissive, gun controls. Most agree the gun registry is flawed. They want it fixed, not dismantled to appease special interests. . .

Eighty-five per cent of domestic homicides involving firearms were committed with a non-restricted rifle or shotgun. According to a 2007 study of family violence by the Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics, the victims of murder or attempted murder by a spouse or ex-spouse were women 87 per cent of the time.

Seventy-four per cent of firearms recovered from suicides and suicide attempts were unrestricted rifles and shotguns.

These statistics tell us that the decision by parliamentarians to scrap the long-gun registry is ideologically based pandering to a self-serving myth held by a minority of Conservatives and amplified by intense lobbying from a special interest group.


People in positions of power - teachers and priests but also Doctors and Psychologists and professors, and bosses, use their position to abuse their power and sexually abuse women and even children.

First nations women have disappeared in droves and who really cares? Where is the press?

Most days I am struggling to right wrongs, as I see them - I go to demos, I write hundreds of letters (OK they are emails) I organize, and I used to be angry. But anger has simply turned to sadness, even despair. Things have not got better as my life proceeds inevitably toward the end - but seem to be worse. Not worse for me necessarily. . . but worse overall, and nothing I have done seems to be working to improve things. I think in the future they will look back n this time (if we have a future on this planet) and say - ah -0 the worst of all possible times. Times of alienation (even if you are rich) times of despair and to many suffering from mental illness - why? Because we have lost shared values, community, and lost faith and trust in each other. I believe that all of this results in giving in totally to a system based on profit - capitalism. A system based on exploitation, a system based on atomization of individuals (every "man" for himself), and alienation and making us shop to feel better - See; www.thestoryofstuff.com

I wake up and find that we are heating up the planet and are not willing to do anything about it. Copenhagen starts tomorrow and all the news is that "nothing will come of it". . . Too many people drive big gas guzzling cars, and somehow feel OK about it.






Once, we had no cars, (living in Toronto) but in search of a simpler life we moved to the country in Nova Scotia, and now, have two cars (both gas efficient) as there is no transit and I need a car for work every day (I drive around for work not just to work) No one seems at all driven (as they are in places in Europe) to reduce their piles of consumer goods (and, we all have our foibles, I buy used, try to fix, do not "shop" for fun ever, don't do Walmart - ever- and try to avoid "Made in China" but we all have our foibles - I am not willing to give up Xmas presents for my children and grand children, and so there is always what feels like a lot of excess for Xmas).

Corporations have, slowly . . . over the last 25 years taken over the rights of individuals and now they have more rights than I do. See: Growing Gap

Somehow taxes were collected to keep soldiers in good equipment and to make sure that they economy gets "bailed out" (I wanted the jobs bailed out but not the investments - isn't that the point that it was all a big gamble to be in the "market'?) but not for a national daycare program, health care, employment and social services. They are all just too rich for us. Who is actually making that decision? Who decided that taxes - the way that we all share in the price of things that we all need or might need - are toxic or acid rain or just generally a bad thing. I watched the first iteration of Poor No More (a Canadian film, in development, about poverty) last week and the Swedes are all on camera saying - taxes? - taxes are a good thing . . . and I agree taxes are a good thing, but I want them spent on programs for people, not subsidies for the tar sands or a slight increase in taxes on the poor (e.g. GST AND HST) in order to continue to afford tax breaks for the rich and corporations. There was a great editorial in the Toronto Star a while back, on taxes, written by Hugh MacKenzie from the CCPA - see: editorial

And so I cry. I cry because my co-workers and members of organized labour unions (people I think should be progressive) too often think only of themselves, shop at Walmart, (some live in communities with no alternatives - but some have alternatives, and can afford NOT to shop there) drive gas guzzling beasts and think it is not racist to resist/oppose affirmative action for African Nova Scotians or First Nations, along with some being highly suspicious of so-called benefits (ha!) for newcomers. I cry because my friends who work in progressive non-profits see unions as "fat cats" instead of a way to organize people out of poverty. I cry for the women who say "I am not a "feminist", I cry for the men (and women) who think that pregnancy should be compulsory and for the women around the world with no access to contraception, abortion or education (and yes I think they are linked).

Sometimes, sometimes, like this morning, I just cry.

Tomorrow, though, tomorrow is another day.
Tomorrow I will return to the fray. Today I will just be kind and compassionate and loving.




Saturday, December 5, 2009

This column by Gerald Caplan, in the Globe and Mail, this morning, spoke words I have been thinking. . .

My country seems to be slipping away in front of my very eyes. Our proud identity, our cherished core values – never mind the vast gap between aspiration and achievement – are being turned upside down. Gun control advocates are out, gun apologists are in. Peacekeeping is out, warriors are in. Preventing war is out, killing scumbags is in. Demonstrations for peace are out, demonstrations of a martial spirit are in. Thoughtful, restrained Canadianism is out, hand-on-heart Yankee-style patriotism is in.

What happened to "my Canada" and to "Canadian values" as I thought they existed? . . . in fact they still seem to exist. My mother who regularly listens to radio and watches TV news (can no longer read the paper due to macular degeneration) within the last year expressed a view that our soldiers in Afghanistan were "peace keepers" - they are not. I now wonder if the average Canadian "gets it". Maybe the values have not changed and people just don't get the slow erosion of them because they are too busy trying to find daycare for their kids, or working hard to stay in place, (cannot get ahead) or trying to figure out how to get out of debt, or where to move where things will be better?

Very few seemed to "get it" when, this year, I questioned Remembrance Day. I wanted tio know what it was people thought we were remembering? I am OK with the second world war as it appeared (although still a colonial/imperialist war) to hold back aggressor nations and mad men (or that's the story as I learned it - even though some continents were carved up afterwards) but I did not want to be wearing a poppy for the First World War, Korea or Afghanistan, although I would if I could wear one remembering the sacrifice as idiotic and without purpose and saying "never again", instead of as noble. . My white poppy was considered an affront although for me I wanted to remember the sacrifice of those who died in wars (civilians too!) but to pray for/wish for/hope for/work for peace.

People said - leave "politics" behind for one day - this is the day to remember their sacrifice - and by the way - they died for you. . . Really what is a Canadian soldier in Afghanistan doing to protect me? or my freedom, or my way of life? If it means saving women and children in Afghanistan - I will change/am willing to change my way of life. I was ambivalent when that war started because I wanted to save the women of Afghanistan but we have not done so - we have bombed their weddings, and put them between the Taliban, warlords of a number of "stripes", and "western" soldiers. I wish we could have built, staffed and kept open more schools, and built more hospitals, and kept it all from crashing, but we are losing the hearts and minds battle.

Anyway, this is not about Afghanistan, it is also about gun control - how can we be letting registering guns slip away? Yes the registry was a boondoggle and I will never know why it cost so much - but why can't we keep legal weapons, properly stored and registered so that we know where they are? It reduced the killing of women and I do not understand why it is onerous for the owners of the weapons? It is not expensive or time consuming I understand - so what's the issue? Why do people want to have unknown weapons in their home? And why did Peter Stoffer vote to end the registry? I am at a loss. I don't even have a party candidate in my riding ( still ADORE Megan Leslie!!!) that I can vote for (don't get me wrong I will, but I will hold my nose doing so, and if there are a whole lot more mis-steps - long gun registry, sending to committee the bill on the rights of the unborn - I mean COME ON Peter - I may have to review!) I am sure not voting Lib or Con - spoiled ballot here I come - Peter - get with the program!

On some other fronts I don't know where we are heading - we are heading to US style jails - consideration is being given to private, for profit prisons and to faith based programs/units in prisons, and yet we are increasing the time for minor drug offenses but not for rape?

There is decreasing access to abortion across the country and controlling family size is how one leads to liberation for women. Educating women makes them want to reduce the size of families/number of children (without pressure) and leads to peace and prosperity. When did we start moving to punishment in principle - oh and by the way that's what the "new" prisons are about.

I haven't always been lauding these sought after "Canadian values" -- I often thought I was ahead of the curve - I fought for equal access to abortion, women's rights, gay marriage, union contracts and workers rights at many times when they did not seem to reflect the mainstream "values", but there were certain things that one could take for granted - now, instead of peace, order and good government we get war, chaos and no safety net, and politicking in the house of commons.

Like I said - my values are not being reflected in Canada anymore - I think I would like to work outside the country for a while - not necessarily anywhere where these values are more espoused but somewhere where it will not wrack me with guilt and surprise that my values are not reflected since I will be a visitor or newcomer and not a long established citizen. Maybe that will let me appreciate that there is peace here even if we are exporting war, and that there is rape and femincide here but at least the police will pursue the perpetrators (oh, if they find your story credible and you are not a sex trade worker) and you will not be stoned, or that you can eat from a foodbank, or have shelter from the cold - though sometimes only in a bed with bed bugs. . .

Anyway - off today to participate in a pension and pre-retirement workshop for union members - way to improve women's lives in this country. . . JOIN A UNION! - get economic independence and education. . .



Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Tuesday evening musings

Here's what I think is funny - I have facebook friends from all over - Brazil, Ireland, U.S. and Canada and today many of them posted the link to this


youtube video of the Muppets doing Bohemian Rhapsody - there must be a link but I wonder what it is. . . It must have been posted somewhere ele, or maybe it is just a high scorer on youtube?

On another bizarre front - from CTV comes this story of a deer in donwtown Toronto that was tasered to capture and reloacte it. See the story here.

The deer makes a run for it near the Toronto Coach Terminal at Bay and Dundas, Tuesday, Nov. 24, 2009. Toronto police tasered the deer shortly after.


And one last thing that had me amused today was this story from the NY Times. . .


Click on the poster for the link to the story. . .

Making War on Women

Read this story from the Toronto Star! Click on title below pic.

Image
Liberation was just a big lie .


I did not see her when she was here in Halifax (had a class, and they are booked 6-9 months in advance - so no way to change) .

Hope someone gives me her book for Christmas.

She wants all the troops out of Afghanistan . She says in the article:
Yes, she says, there is a risk of civil war, as happened when the Soviet Union gave up the fight against U.S.-backed Afghan Islamists 20 years ago. But it would still be better than "night raids, torture and aerial bombardment" that killed hundreds of Afghan civilians while the Taliban made steady gains.

"Liberation was just a big lie." Joya believes Afghans are now better prepared to battle the Taliban alone – if the warlords are disarmed, and the international community helps build a society that can push back against extremism.

I so want Canada to be working for peace, again, and not engaging in war. It was why Remembrance Day troubled me so much this year.

Have a nice day.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Antonia Zerbisias

I got quite excited yesterday by a columnist in the Toronto Star - She has amazing blogs, too. . . It is just odd for me to find in a daily newspaper someone who is a outraged as I am about the same things. I encourage you to check her out - but start with the July 2nd Blog.

In her Canada Day Column in the Toronto Star - she talked about the things that Canada stands for in her mind and how they are being eroded, whether by changes in the media or legislation -

She says:

Collective bargaining floats all our boats. Without it, there would be no minimum wage, no paid sick leave, no health and pension benefits, no vacations. Do you honestly believe workers would still get a fair break if the bottom liners had nothing to keep them in check?

It's not workers who drove us into this economic mess. Workers weren't paying themselves multi-million-dollar bonuses for running companies into the ground. In fact, as executive salaries were rising, workers' wages were falling.

This isn't the time to get rid of unions. This is the time to be strengthening them.

She also says:

Public Broadcasting: Fully funded public broadcasting is good for Canadian culture, which includes tens of thousands of workers who perform and produce programming. . .

I'm talking CBC.

I'm talking excellent original and thought-provoking programming on CBC Radio's Ideas.

I'm also talking The National, which is now riddled with commercials and no longer has the weight or authority it used to have.

That's because, to sell ads, it has to produce eyeballs. That means more Michael Jackson, less Stephen Harper.

And that's not good for Canada.

I hate to say it but The National is too often pre-occupied with trivia. And CBC no longer has the resources to do consistent hard-hitting investigative journalism that answers to no advertisers.

And She says:

Freedom of Expression: Excuse me but since when did the interests of Zionist lobby groups determine who or what Canadians can see and hear?

In recent months, to list just three examples, there have been concerted campaigns against the staging of Caryl Churchill's controversial Seven Jewish Children: A Play for Gaza and an academic conference at York University where the so-called "one-state solution'' was to be discussed. We also saw British MP George Galloway be denied entry to the country for a speaking tour, just because he brought aid to bombed-out Gaza.

Now comes word that the only way the respected Al-Jazeera English news service, currently applying for TV distribution in Canada, can win the support of these same Jewish groups is to have them become consultants.

Journalistically speaking, that is hardly kosher.

Hoo-boy, did I hear about this one. The usual slurs of anti-Semitism, etc.

My answer? What part of this isn't true?

And lastly she talks about:

U.S. War Resisters: Canada's proudest moment this century was when it refused to join George W. Bush in his attack on Iraq. . .

Those kids were hoodwinked, both by their government and its lapdog media, into thinking they were joining up to protect their country from terrorism and Saddam Hussein's non-existent weapons of mass destruction.

Rather than welcome them, we send them back over the border and to certain prison sentences.

That's not my Canada.

Is it yours?

So, here's the thing.

When former Prime Minister Lester B. Pearson, the man who won the Nobel prize for inventing UN peacekeeping, came up with the red and white maple leaf flag, he envisioned it as the sort of flag that would not be associated with war.

Kind of like the way the Norwegian flag is today.

It no longer is the case.

Here's the other thing.

When John Lennon and Yoko Ono chose Canada as the venue for their Give Peace a Chance bed-in in 1969, they did it in part because they considered this country as the embodiment of anti-war values.

It no longer is the case.

As I wrote on the wall at the Imagine exhibit at Montreal's Musee des Beaux-Arts, ''John Lennon would not recognize Stephen Harper's Canada.''


So you can see why I enjoyed it - I have edited it some for length but linked to the original at the top -- hope you enjoy her posts as much as I have. . .



Friday, June 19, 2009

NDP Swearing In

As will be obvious from the history on these blogs, I have been a faithful NDP supporter for many years. I am also a feminist, a trade unionist and am anti-oppression, and anti-poverty activist.

Today, shortly I will be attending the swearing of the NDP cabinet. A first cabinet for the majority NDP government recently elected in Nova Scotia. I have not seen many people playing the who will be in cabinet game -- I'm planning to play but more from a regional breakdown than truly knowing the skills of many of the players.

Of course, we don't even know what the Departments are going to be - are they going to change them? I am assuming yes. I think a Minister can have two portfolios and keep the Dept's separate or they could combine activities into larger/differently structured departments.

I tend to think that one should not make the Minister someone who knows about the Department, though I don't know the history on that score, so I would not put Ramona Jennex as the Minister of Education, or Sterling Beliveau in fisheries. I would give Howard Epstein the environment but I have a feeling that he is likely persona non grata. . .

So I am betting on Premier Dexter who is going to serve in cabinet apparently ( that is giving himself a cabinet portfolio in addition to Premier) plus:
1. Marilyn More
2. Maureen MacDonald
3. Percy Paris
4. Frank Corbett
5. Becky Kent
6. Brian Skabar
7. Graham Steele
8. Joe MacDonnell
9. Clarrie MacKinnon or Charlie Parker
10. Bill Estabrooks
11. Either Vicki Conrad or Sterling Belliveau

Oops - have to go to get to the swearing in. . . I'm probably dead wrong, because I haven't got time to check the Bio's and I don't know of the experieinced MLA's who are "trusted" by Darrell. We'll see!


Friday, April 10, 2009

Capitalism, alienation, moral courage and guilt, lots of guilt.

This morning, on CBC - Sunday Morning - I heard Ann Michaels, author of "Fugitive Pieces" and now "The Winter Vault", talking about how people are confronted at some point in their life with a requirement to have moral courage, and often they feel that it is very beyond them - that they do not know what to do . She says that is why people need to practice morality and making moral decisions - so when called up on to make a difficult decision their moral decision making is "practiced".

I was thinking about how I (kind of) live this way, or try to, and cause myself no end of stress making moral decisions that sometimes I can fulfill and other times I cannot. Often these are "political decisions", but they have a large ethical or moral component. I make these decisions many times each day, because I believe that all of my decisions - small to large - impact on the world and others in it and therefore have an effect on those around me and on the planet. I remember when my husband's cousin moved from the US back to Canada with her US born/raised husband - how he said that he had never met people as principled as us - he said he had no idea that some people actually thought about how to live, and then tried to live by their principles. It was flattering, but we were surprised because we thought a lot of people (at least those well educated with good jobs and time to contemplate their lives) would be worrying about living according to their principles - Of course, that was twenty years ago and now we know that most people do not.

Most people, I believe, do not think about anything but their own immediate need, even though I also believe (possibly without corroborating evidence) that people are basically co-operative, social animals and do understand what is good for the pack/tribe/city/province/country , is also good for them. They don't vote that way, but I thought that was a result of the influence through education, media etc of monopoly capitalism.

So why I am tormented by driving a car (I live 30 minutes out of town and there is no bus service) to work every day - never mind that it is a condition of my employment that I have a car and bring it to work and that the employer pays the maintenance costs of my vehicle. I moved to NS and moved to this house . . . I fell in love with the view and being in the country and only when gas went to $1.50/litre did I really start to get it. I try not to idle but in winter found myself doing it on occasion while waiting in the car (lined up in traffic, or waiting for someone on the street). I didn't mean to set up my life this way, but I am stuck with it at least for the immediate future - although moving back "to town" is on the horizon.

I try not to eat meat, because it is not sustainable, but find myself doing it because it is too easy and fast - and the veg options are often boring (not that they need to be - but at work for instance there are many soup and sandwich lunches - the "veg" option will be a slice of processed cheese and a thin slice of tomato and maybe -if you are lucky - some lettuce.) or non-existent. When I am depressed it is meat that I crave - a bacon and tomato sandwich or lamb chops with greek salad. . . I believe it would be better to have none but I don't do most of the cooking. The other day I had a class where we served vegetarian lasagna and 5 people out of 20 went out for lunch without even trying it, because it was vegetarian! I try not to eat a lot of fish because they are not sustainable - NS farmed mussels, clams and oysters - all OK. Lobster seems to be a debate, though I am still eating it a couple of times a year (esp. this year, because this year it was a moral imperative to buy lobster to help the fishermen!) and it is Local. I do carry the fish list with me - but hey its not like you can ask at the counter in Sobey's - "Is that haddock dragged or long lined?" I mean you can ask, but they haven't a clue. I keep asking and insisting that I will buy fish when they do know but every single time I have the feeling that I am the only one who has ever asked. (At Pete's Fruitique fish counter - they know!)

I don't buy newspapers anymore but read them online saving a little paper - but then yesterday Kevin did buy the Globe and Mail because an American flag with a hammer and sickle on the front cover was more than he could resist. We use reusable (not plastic) bags, and try to keep our plastic and disposables (like paper towel and foil) at a minimum - but if you are also working hard and often and long on issues, time to traipse all over the city trying to find unwrapped food is tough, so most of our shopping is done at big grocery stores where our only option is avoidance of the worst things. Most fruit and veg are still unwrapped although it is amazing how often the cashiers want to wrap that romaine in plastic before putting it in my non-plastic bag!

I have been lucky in that I have had opportunity for most (but not all) of my adult life to work at jobs that were related to issues I cared about. But even there I found myself being unpopular or even being asked to leave jobs (twice) because my politics and moral judgements were unpopular. (too left wing!) i have worked in commission sales and consulting though. . . making even more difficult decisions about who and what I was supporting and the social value of contracts and their possible outcomes.

We never made any "investments" even when we had money (well OK we have 3-4,000 in mutual funds that were back end loaded so we had to keep them ) invested in some year when I suddenly panicked about retirement until I realized there was nothing I could do - I am just going to be poor.

I am tormented about food - I would love to do the 100 mile diet but esp in Nova Scotia pretty difficult without devoting yourself to it almost full time (time I do not have) but we do buy Local first, then organic, sometimes taking distance alone into account. (Quick - no googling allowed - try buying tomatos in NS. . . which is closer Florida or an Ontario greenhouse?)

I think the world would be better if we didn't keep buying stuff and especially "new stuff" all the time though my own alienation has never been sated by shopping anyway (except maybe shopping for food.) It is easy to shop at thrift shops for my grandchildren, but as I am over "average" size there is little to nothing that would fit me in the thrift store, although I have been lucky on occasion - again if I had more time to browse I might be lucky more often - but I only have time to run in and out - for the most part I am just wearing clothes that are 10 years plus old. . . except a couple of years ago I had to buy some summer stuff as everything I had was too heavy.

For most of my life I have not had the money or the time to travel. I have worked since I was 16 but always seemed to have a lot to do and not much money. Until recently I never ran up a big credit card debt (did move and live on a paid down mortgage though - so now at 56 have little equity left) Now that there is more life in the past than in the future, I decided - screw it I want to travel - and now we have credit card debt - though we have been to India and Cuba. But, now that I have made the decision that it is time to see the world before I get too old or sick or poor (I don't have much of a pension to look forward to) it is not very moral to fly. Flying creates a ton of GHG's - so I know I should not do it for "fun". . . but I want to, and I am not sure that I am willing to stop. On top of that I live in Nova Scotia but my aging mother lives in Toronto as does one son and my sister. My other brother lives in Montreal with his wife, and my son is moving there in the fall. So family is spread across Canada and because we get so little vacation in this country it is impossible to visit without flying. Should I just stay home and perhaps try and make do with calling? It will not make my mother feel that I love her and care about her and will upset the rest of my family that I appear "not to care" , so I guess I will keep flying and feeling guilty about it.

I don't shop at Walmart - ever - and don't understand how people can. They are the front runners in a chain of exploitation that goes round the world - I mean I shop at Zellers and most of their stuff also comes from Chinese factories but somehow they are not the player in maximizing profits and reducing costs - especially the cost of human capital that Walmart does. . . but it seems to really rub people the wrong way that I boycott Walmart, (they really flip about my Chapters boycott!) and if I actually don't make any enemies over it, I sure don't make friends, while everyone is feeling that I am criticizing them for their choices. And, I guess I am. . .

I live in a house that is not as clean as some, because I don't use a swiffer or other disposable "stuff" and I don't use a lot of powerful cleaners - lots of vinegar, baking soda and environmental cleaners. No bleach in the washing machine (I have NEVER used bleach) no fabric softener, but we use a commercial detergent because Kevin seems to react to the "environmental" ones. We think about a lot of these things because we have a well and a septic system - we are responsible for our own water system, whether it is clean and safe, and have to worry about how much effluent we are pumping into the septic system and worry about whether it is functioning properly and how often(if ever) it needs to be pumped out. This makes you aware of the environmental impact of your water use - we also have a low flow well - so we do not have unlimited water. So no one in this house lets the water run unnecessarily though we have not run out of water for a couple of years (used to run out the first year we were in the house, 'til we got to used to water not being limitless - but there is plenty. )

We live on the coast, on an inlet that is partly salt marsh. I have no idea what I should be doing to stop the shoreline from eroding if anything, and I wonder about the beaches near me and what I should be doing to protect them - I don't think that anything I am doing is making the erosion worse but I don't know much about it.

I thought I wanted to live here, out of town, on the ocean, near (but not on) the big surf - I love the ocean but to afford to live here I need a job that pays a lot - and I have one - a good paying, exciting, interesting job, but it leaves no time to enjoy the ocean, the house, the trails - really almost none and then if you want to use your vacation time to see a bit of the world (feeling guilty about the flying) then why am I living here? So I moved to NS to be in nature, to be near the ocean and to be more contemplative - and all I have done is make for a lot of travel time, distance from family and reduced income (although I still make a decent living) and so I am thinking about selling the house, moving into town, maybe renting an apartment instead of buying another house, and going back to City living but in this province. That makes me wonder if I should be thinking about moving back to Toronto . . . oh me. . . so those are my thoughts for the morning - just felt compelled to share - and now I am off to take the grand kids to see Monsters vs Aliens. . . hope we have a good time. I will feel guilty about eating expensive popcorn, driving two cars too far, eating crap and being too fat. . . but I cannot do anymore.